According to all of us here at Bong Hostel, traveling through North Vietnam, home to Hanoi, Ha Long Bay, Ninh Binh, Sapa, and the dramatic landscapes of the Ha Giang Loop, is a rewarding, enriching, and positively life-changing experience.
However, to fully appreciate the charm of the country and avoid any social faux pas, it's important to understand the cultural etiquette in Vietnam. While travelers will generally be met with warmth and understanding, respecting local customs will ensure that you leave a positive impression and gain the trust and warmth of the people you meet.
Let’s dive into the values and customs that shape everyday interactions in Vietnam and explore the dos and don’ts for navigating social situations and ensuring respectful travel.
Overview of Vietnamese Values
Vietnamese society is heavily influenced by Confucianism, which places great emphasis on respect, social harmony, and hierarchy.
At the heart of Vietnamese culture is respect for elders, modesty, and humility. These values manifest in a variety of ways, from how people greet each other to how they behave in social gatherings.
One of the central precepts of Vietnamese life is face—the concept of maintaining dignity and respect in social interactions. Avoiding public embarrassment or confrontations is vital, and people tend to be soft-spoken, polite, and indirect in their communication.
Furthermore, Vietnamese people value collectivism over individualism, which means family, community, and social relationships play an essential role in their lives. This collective mindset emphasizes the importance of harmony and avoiding conflict in both personal and public spaces.
With these foundational values in mind, let's move on to practical advice to help you navigate Vietnamese customs with grace and respect.
The Dos of Cultural Etiquette in Vietnam
Do Show Respect to Elders
Respect for elders is a fundamental part of Vietnamese culture. Whether you’re dining in a family’s home, meeting a local on the street, or joining a group activity, always greet the eldest member first and acknowledge their presence with a polite bow or smile.
Addressing people by their proper titles, such as "Bà" (grandmother) or "Ông" (grandfather), shows your awareness of this important aspect of Vietnamese society.
When dining, it is also customary for the oldest person to take the first bite, so wait patiently before starting your meal. Showing deference to elders at all times will endear you to locals and demonstrate your respect for their culture.
2. Do Dress Modestly, Especially in Temples
When visiting religious or sacred sites, such as temples, pagodas, or family altars, dressing conservatively is crucial.
Both men and women should avoid shorts and sleeveless tops. Instead, opt for clothing that covers your shoulders and knees. Before entering temples, you should also remove your shoes and hats.
Wearing modest attire is a way to show reverence for the local traditions and respect for the religious significance of these spaces.
Many sacred sites have areas specifically for worship, and it’s important to be mindful of those around you who are praying or meditating. Be respectful of their spiritual practices by keeping noise to a minimum and avoiding intrusive behavior like taking photos in restricted areas.
3. Do Learn Basic Vietnamese Phrases
While English is widely spoken in tourist areas, learning a few simple Vietnamese phrases will go a long way in showing respect for the local culture.
Greetings such as "Xin chào" (hello) or "Cảm ơn" (thank you) can make your interactions with locals much smoother. Even if your pronunciation isn't perfect, the effort will be appreciated and can open doors to warmer, more genuine connections.
In northern Vietnam, where tradition runs deep, using the correct form of address when talking to people is particularly important.
Knowing when to say "Anh" (older brother) or "Chị" (older sister) helps to express respect according to age, which is significant in Vietnamese culture.
Bong Hostel's northern tours will introduce you to local communities, and learning a few basics will help you feel more connected during your adventures.
4. Do Remove Your Shoes Before Entering Homes
When visiting a Vietnamese home, it is customary to remove your shoes before entering.
Many homes, especially in rural areas or traditional households, have altars or family shrines that should not be disrespected by wearing shoes inside.
Taking off your shoes is a sign of respect for the home and its occupants, ensuring you don’t bring in dirt or negative energy.
If you're unsure whether to remove your shoes, simply observe the behavior of your hosts or ask. Some households provide slippers for guests, but it's always best to check.
5. Do Try Street Food Respectfully
Vietnam is renowned for its delicious street food. Whether you’re in the midst of busy Hanoi, or at a rural market stall, trying local dishes like bánh mì, phở, or bún chả is a must.
However, when sampling street food, always be polite to vendors and wait your turn. Bargaining is common, but it should be done respectfully and with a smile. Keep in mind that vendors often earn modest incomes, so avoid haggling aggressively over small amounts.
When eating at street stalls or restaurants, it’s important to finish all the food on your plate as this shows appreciation for the cook's efforts.
Additionally, in Vietnamese culture, chopstick etiquette is important—never leave your chopsticks sticking upright in a bowl of rice, as this resembles incense offerings to the dead.
6. Do Be Mindful of Public Displays of Affection
While Vietnam is becoming more modernized, especially in cities like Hanoi, public displays of affection (PDA) are still considered inappropriate, particularly in rural or traditional areas.
Kissing, hugging, or holding hands in public may draw disapproving looks or make locals uncomfortable. It’s best to save affectionate gestures for private settings, as modesty is highly valued in Vietnamese society.
7. Do Respect Personal Space and Be Considerate with Gestures
While Vietnamese people are friendly and welcoming, they may feel uncomfortable with overly familiar gestures such as hugs or close proximity, especially in public or with strangers. Handshakes are common, but with a light touch rather than a firm grip.
In general, try to avoid overly expressive gestures like crossing your arms, standing with your hands on your hips, or using large hand movements while talking. Instead, adopt a calm and composed demeanor, which is more in line with Vietnamese cultural norms.
It’s also considered respectful to use both hands when giving or receiving something, as it shows attentiveness and sincerity.
8. Do Show Respect for Religious Practices
Vietnam is home to a variety of religious beliefs, including Buddhism, Catholicism, and folk religions. During your travels, especially in northern Vietnam, you’ll likely visit several pagodas, temples, and shrines.
Always approach these places with respect. Bow your head when passing by a religious statue, and refrain from touching or posing with sacred objects.
If you’re attending a festival or religious event, such as Tết (Lunar New Year) or Tết Trung Thu (Mid-Autumn Festival), observe how locals behave and follow their lead.
Donating a small offering, such as flowers or incense, is often appreciated and shows respect for the local customs.
9. Do Carry Small Denominations of Dong
Carrying small denominations of Vietnamese Dong is practical when shopping at local markets, paying for food, or taking taxis.
Many vendors, especially in rural or less-touristy areas, may not have change for large bills. Having smaller bills will make transactions smoother and help you avoid inconveniences.
Additionally, tipping in Vietnam is not obligatory but is appreciated for excellent service, especially in restaurants or for tour guides.
10. Do Be Patient with Traffic and Pedestrian Etiquette
Vietnam’s streets, especially in cities like Hanoi, can be overwhelming due to the sheer volume of motorbikes, bicycles, and cars.
Crossing the road may seem daunting, but locals are adept at navigating the flow of traffic. The best approach is to walk steadily across, allowing motorbikes to weave around you rather than stopping abruptly.
When using ride-hailing apps like Grab or taxis, patience is key, especially during rush hours.
The Don’ts of Cultural Etiquette in Vietnam
1. Don’t Touch Someone’s Head
In Vietnamese culture, the head is considered the most sacred part of the body.
Touching someone’s head, even in a friendly manner, is seen as highly disrespectful, especially for adults or elders. Even with children, where Western cultures might view head-touching as affectionate, it's best to refrain unless given explicit permission.
This belief is deeply rooted in the idea that the head is where one's spirit resides. Whether it’s a light pat or a more casual touch, it’s important to avoid any physical contact with a person’s head to show respect for this cultural sensitivity.
2. Don’t Use Your Feet to Point
Similarly, pointing your feet at people or sacred objects is considered impolite, as the feet are seen as the least clean part of the body.
This is particularly important to remember when visiting homes, temples, or other sacred sites. Avoid resting your feet on tables or chairs, and when sitting, avoid positioning your feet toward others or religious objects.
The same goes for pointing with a single finger, especially at a person, which is considered rude and aggressive in Vietnam.
Instead, it’s polite to gesture using your whole hand. The feet, being considered the lowest part of the body, should also never be used to point at objects or people.
3. Don’t Raise Your Voice or Show Anger in Public
As we have already touched on, in Vietnamese culture, maintaining composure and “saving face” is crucial.
Public displays of anger or frustration can lead to a loss of face, not only for the person exhibiting these emotions but also for the person on the receiving end.
Vietnamese people value calm, respectful interactions, even when resolving conflicts. If you find yourself in a situation that causes frustration, it’s best to address the issue privately and in a calm manner.
4. Don’t Drink Tap Water
Vietnam’s tap water is not safe for drinking, and it’s advisable to stick to bottled water, which is widely available and inexpensive.
This is particularly important in rural areas where water quality can vary. At Bong Hostel in Ha Giang, we offer free filtered drinking water to all our guests.
Bottled water should always be sealed, and it’s a good habit to keep hydrated, especially in the tropical heat.
5. Don’t Disrespect the National Flag or Leaders
Disrespecting Vietnam’s national flag, government, or leaders is a serious offense.
It is important to avoid any behavior that could be interpreted as disrespectful, such as making negative comments or gestures about these national symbols.
Additionally, be aware that certain gestures—such as the “fingers crossed” symbol, common in the West—are considered impolite in Vietnam.
Instead of using potentially offensive hand signals, rely on polite language and gestures to express yourself.
6. Don’t Take Photos of People Without Permission
Taking photos of people without their consent can be seen as intrusive in Vietnam.
Always ask for permission before snapping a picture, especially in more traditional areas or during private moments.
Many people, particularly vendors or locals in rural areas, may expect a small payment in exchange for allowing their photo to be taken.
Asking first ensures you’re respectful of their privacy and personal space.
7. Don’t Litter
Vietnam is facing significant challenges with waste management, and littering is considered disrespectful.
There are often fines for those caught littering, especially in urban areas. To help preserve the environment and show respect for the community, always dispose of trash properly and make an effort to use recycling bins when available.
8. Don’t Bring Up Sensitive Topics like the Vietnam War
Bringing up topics related to the Vietnam War or current politics can be uncomfortable or offensive to some locals.
While people in larger cities might be more open to discussing these issues, it’s safer to avoid them, especially in rural areas. Focus on learning about Vietnam’s rich cultural history and traditions instead of sensitive political matters.
9. Don’t Criticize the Local Cuisine
Food is an essential part of Vietnamese culture, and the locals take great pride in their cuisine. Making negative remarks about the food can be seen as insulting to your host or the community.
Even if a dish isn’t to your liking, it’s polite to try a little and offer appreciation for the effort. If you need to decline a dish, do so respectfully. This simple courtesy will help you connect with the locals and ensure that you’re seen as a respectful guest in their country.
10. Don’t Refuse a Gift
In Vietnam, gift-giving is a common and meaningful practice, especially during special occasions or as a gesture of gratitude.
If you’re offered a gift, refusing it outright can be seen as rude or ungrateful. Even if you feel uncomfortable accepting, it’s polite to graciously accept the gift.
Often, the act of giving is more symbolic than the actual value of the item. If you’re not able to accept the gift, politely thank the giver and offer a respectful explanation rather than rejecting it immediately.
Final Thoughts on Navigating Cultural Etiquette in Vietnam
Understanding and respecting local customs is key to enhancing your experience and building positive relationships with the people you meet.
For first-time travelers, it’s normal to make small mistakes, but the Vietnamese are generally forgiving and understanding, especially if they see you making an effort to respect their customs.
A friendly smile and a simple greeting can go a long way toward smoothing over any cultural misunderstandings.
By following these dos and don’ts, you’ll not only show respect for the local culture but also ensure that your travels through this beautiful country are filled with positive experiences and warm encounters.